Thor:
Ragnarok
Thor
For Asgard #4
Start
your “Immigrant Song” looping
"Part Four”
Writer – Robert Rodi
Pencils – Simone Blanchi
Ink & Inkwash –
Simone Blanchi and Andrea Silvestri
Colorist – Simone
Peruzzi
Letterer – VC’s Cory
Petit
Assistant Editor –
Sebastian Girner
Editor – Axel Alonso
January 2011
Today
we are going to concern ourselves with one of the antagonists of Thor: Ragnarok
by delving into part of a limited series that isn’t in continuity to my
knowledge.
Thor
For Asgard was a six issue tale of a future Asgard where Thor has been ruling
in his father’s absence. Odin appears to have taken a powered at some point
many months or years before.
And
sadly, Thor just isn’t up to the job of ruling. Asgard is assailed by an
unending winter freeze that has killed the Golden Apple tree that provides the
gods with youth and eternal life. The kingdoms and realms that owe allegiance
to Asgard are all in open rebellion, meaning that Thor spends most of his time
running from battle to battle trying to quell all the uprisings. A few
Asgardians have even turned terrorists, using some kind of super-science weapon
to blow up the Bifrost and fatally wound Heimdall. To make matters worse, Thor
obviously isn’t himself – he’s so unworthy that he can no longer wield Mjolnir.
As
for the book, I have five of the six and I do NOT recommend it. In fact I am
going to skip over this review of all the plotlines which writer Rodi leaves
mostly unresolved after farting around with these characters for six issues and
I’m going to skip to covering the ONE great scene in all of this mess.
You
see, it involves Hela.
That’s
right, Hela – the ruler of Hel and Niflheim which are both the Norse equivalents
of the colder part of Hell and a smoky Limbo region. The fiery parts of Hell
correspond to Muspelheim, which is the realm of Surtur the fire demon. Basically
the Norse had all sorts of bad places for you to go when you died, but only one
place that was decent.
That
place was here, where Thor is going with the Valkyrie Brunnhilde. Valhalla,
where only the honored dead are allowed to go. And today Thor
is delivering his
friend Heimdall to this sun-dappled Heaven.
This
series was a letdown for me on many levels. For one thing, it is depressing as
all getout. Thor is beset by problems that have no easy solutions and he is
never given a chance to best even one of them. By issue five, which is the last
I have, he even appears to die himself. And it’s not a warrior’s death, but a
lingering death in bed. I’ve heard tale that issue six doesn’t have a
resolution for most of his woes, either. The story just … stops.
Adding
to the depressing story is the fact that with the exception of the part we are
about to see, the entire thing takes place in an iced over Asgard. That means
the book is a awash in pale blues and whites, leading to it looking like you
see here. Maybe you will dig it, but the art leaves me very cold. Especially
given that this is supposed to be the Heaven Asgardians aspire to. It looks
just as cold as frozen Asgard.
No
matter about all that, we are here for Hela. She won’t be making an appearance
right away, so let’s first learn a few things about Valhalla, which this
appears to be Thor’s first visit.
Valhalla
is like the bar in Cheers, apparently. Everybody knows your name and they are
always glad you to see you. Also eternal youth an vigor, which I thought the
gods of Asgard had anyway, but maybe that’s only if they get their golden
apple-a-day.
So
what do you do all day long if this is where you find yourself?
Appears
that Valhalla is EXACTLY like Cheers. I think I even see the Norse versions of
Norm and Cliff there in the back.
Thor
mixes with the throng, but he is searching specifically for Balder. And that’s
when it happens…
In
walks a very “non-horny” Hela and this moment is the only moment of “oh, shit!”
I had in the entire series.
Thor
asks why they don’t keep her out, and Sigmud (yes, the guy from Beowulf) tells
him they can’t. He explains that she shows up to gloat and walk around as her
realm sits somehow below this one, as if Valhalla, Hel, Niffelheim were more
like flat plates than worlds.
And
perhaps they are, because Hela is feeling EXTREMELY rebellious today and there
is NO ODIN to stop her. Thor isn’t even himself, having lost his hammer of
thunders. So, she does this…
…and
DUMPS ALL THE HONORED DEAD INTO HER OWN REALM OF DEPLORABLES. That’s right. She
empties Heaven into her personal Hel and Thor can’t do anything about it.
(Get
that Robert Plant scream from Immigrant Song playing loud and clear as you hit
this next page.)
And
speaking of how Thor can’t stop her, heck he needs saving himself…
And
with that Brunnhilde saves the god-of-no-thunder and I’m done because there is
no more Hela parts.
I
don’t recommend picking up this series if you want good Hela action. In fact, I
don’t recommend picking up this series no matter what you like. The art has
some nice panels, I suppose, but the story is crap. Take that from one person
who knows crap when he sees it.
If
you want some great Hela action, look to the latter half of the Walt Simonson
run of The Mighty Thor in either the color Visionaries line or in the black and
white Essentials volumes. They are much better at showing this little lady.
Or
the new movie, which I hear is getting great reviews and sits with a high 90%
on the Tomatometer right now.
