Some
random Wonder Woman books, Part 17
We
are back to "punching things together"
And
that's all for the best
"All that Burns"
Writer – Peter J. Tomasi
Penciller – Doug Mahnke
Inkers - Jaime Mendoza,
Norm Rapmund, Christian Alamy, and Don Ho
Letters – Rob Leigh
Colorists – Tomeu Morey,
Hi-Fi
Assistant Editor –
Jeremy Bent
Group Editor – Eddie
Berganza
February 2015
So
seldom does the Crapbox get two issues in a row, that when it does happen it
seems like the Gods have smiled on us.
Or
in this case, the Gods are having a big laugh at our expense. We concluded
yesterday's article with Superman and his unlikely love interest Wonder Woman
having been saved by a new, unknown hero.
We
begin this issue with a God, possibly Olympian judging by those columns in the
panel, who appears to have a beef with women in general (even though they are
one, apparently) and Wonder Woman in particular. This is our Arch-Enemy of this
story arc, and the writer is still keeping who this is under wraps. That spear
thing she dips into the molten lava looks to be a clue as to what she has
planned, however.
But
back we must go to the very unconvincing couple and their savior of the
evening: "Wonderstar."
With
the bad guys knocked out, Wonder Woman and Superman decide to have a chat with
their new friend Wondy. He is ecstatic since they are his favorite superheroes
and he wants to be trained by them by his own admission.
This
part kind of works. The part here where we have the pair as Teammates. Because
that's where I've always seen them, working together for the betterment of all
mankind. Not getting mad because one of them is too kind to strangers or upset
because they aren't getting dressed on time (uh, you both have superspeed. How
long could it REALLY take?).
Anyway,
Wonderstar shows them the literal rock he crawled out from under, and of course
he has no memory of who he is or how he came to be here. Then suddenly there's
an emergency and off he flies.
…and
Wonder Woman and Superman join him to check out how he does / keep him out of
trouble.
And
because the writer can't come up with great villains, we end up with three
tanks: Mammoth (who I have to admit made me grin in panel one), Debutante, and
Crash. They are committing a bank robbery, because that isn't cliché or
anything.
As
they dump the money into a portable hole that might disintegrate the money for
all they know, the heroes arrive and kick all their butts.
Wonderstar
finds out he has laser vision. Or heat vision. Or psionic vision. I don't know,
but whatever it is, I'm pretty sure it ISN'T Martian Vision. Maybe. Whatever.
Superman
"Crashes" this little party and seems ALMOST like his pre New 52 self
here.
During all this Wonder Woman has to yank Wonderstar out of the way with
her lasso, which seems to have allowed her to run a few test questions on him.
Wonderstar
is unfazed by this slightly morally dubious action. In fact, he's rather happy.
I suppose there isn't anything wrong with it per-say…but still I'd rather her
not make it a habit.
Oh,
and that gurgle you hear is Mammoth waking up.
I
hate to admit it, but yeah that part kind of was neat. I'm sure our writer just made a mistake by including something entertaining.
Sure
enough on the next page Tomasi has Wonderstar blithering like an idiot about
how "in love" the pair are while the creepiness factor comes into the
art again. And with so many inkers over Mahnke's pencils, I have no single
person to place blame on.
And
just like that, Wonderstar begins to lose it. He starts saying things and he
convulses and changes…
…and
his super vision thing goes out of control. Supes grabs him from behind, but
can just barely hold him.
He
starts jabbering about remembering when suddenly a spear that looks exactly
like the one that started off our issue, gets flung from a glowing pink boom
tube thing in such a way that it impales the man of steel.
Wonder
Woman takes a face full of super pink vision all the while Wonderstar seems
more and more corrupted. He grasps the spear and the deception falls away to
reveal…
…a
very familiar Kingdom Come character…
…and
one who has killed superheroes before. Magog, a guy I really liked when he was a
part of the JSA. No telling how he will end up here in the New 52, but even
money is on "most likely dead by the end of next issue."
Wonder
Woman is in this and the only reason she fairs better than in issue 13 is she hardly has any
speaking parts. Leave it to the Crapbox to spit out back-to-back issues of
something this lame.
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