Some
random Wonder Woman books, Part 18
What
the 80's romance between Superman and Wonder Woman looked like
Or
"how this should be handled"
"Different Worlds"
Story / Breakdowns – John
Byrne
Finishes – George Perez
Letters – John Costanza
Colorists – Tom Ziuko
Assistant Editor – Renee
Witterstaetter
Editor – Mike Carlin
May 1988
Remember
when I reviewed the George Perez Wonder Woman issue number 15 book a couple of
weeks ago? I discussed how there was a storyline about Wonder Woman dreaming of
Superman because they were aiming for a big tie-in issue in Action Comics 600?
That is this very issue I will be reviewing today.
I'm
only going through the Wonder Woman team-up story at this time. There's a lot
more under the cover, but I'd like to stick to the first 32 pages for this
review. Byrne used Action like a DC Comics Presents title, making it the
team-up book for Superman. Most of these stories were interesting and fun with
this one being no exception. George Perez shows up doing inks and finishes, so
you are in for a treat today - partially, as I'll explain in a moment.
I
believe Perez had some input around Wonder Woman's involvement too. She seems a
bit closer to his version of Diana than to the one Byrne gives us later. Either
way, this story is way more enjoyable than it should be, given what it was
being built up as, which was exactly what the New 52 DID to the two characters.
But here they…well, you'll just have to wait and see.
If
you CAN see, that is. I'll show you what I mean. This was a 80 page giant book,
square bound with NO Ads (for $2.50 and including four complete stories. You
can't do that these days because…comic book companies suck, basically.).
Somewhere along its difficult little life, this issue's glue must have given
out. And the young child who owned it last decided to fix that failing by...STAPLING
THE BOOK BACK TOGETHER!!!
See
this splash page from page two that is Byrne's unused cover for the book? See those
two dark lines along the right margin? Yup. That’s them. Sadly that means the
pages don't quite lend themselves to scanning, but I've done my best. Pardon my
margins is what trying to say.
Let's
kick this off with a two second background intro. In the last Superman book,
Adventures of Superman #440 to be exact, was titled "The Hurrieder I Go"
and featured Superman rushing to meet Wonder Woman but having to stop a half
dozen times to help people in need. The issue culminated with him arriving,
pulling Wonder Woman into an embrace, and passionately kissing her.
That's
where we begin…
…right
as their lips meet…
…Tell
me what's wrong in this picture?...
OMG!
Superman just inappropriately kissed Wonder Woman. It comes off as if he is a
desperate schoolboy with a crush on a classmate. A horndog who doesn't have the
morals or common sense to know you need consent before getting physical with a
person.
How
embarrassing.
What's
worse is now he has to explain himself to his fellow superhero. Thus begins the
most awkward conversation between Wonder Woman and Superman ever. And let's be
honest here, when Wonder Woman says she HAD been thinking of him for months,
your first thought is "before I found out you were an impulsive jock, more
interested in getting freaky with me than finding out WHO I AM AS A
PERSON." What a horrid way to start things off.
Notice
body posture here: Wonder Woman with her arms crossed in front of her and turned
slightly away. She's protecting herself in case he tries something again.
Meanwhile Supes is all "So you're saying there might still be a
chance?" Proof that even X-Ray vision can't grant you as much sight as just
paying attention to someone's body language.
I
love that Wonder Woman lays it all out for Clark here. She isn't seeking a
physical connection without something else behind it, which given Clark's
impetuousness, appears to be all he HAS been thinking about. Maybe he's taking
the "Action" part of the title a little too literally.
Diana
still offers to spend some time getting to know him, so off they fly, soaring
across the fields and chatting with each other.
Speaking
of the Gods, Diana receives an urgent call from help via a glowing pink portal
in the sky... A call from Hermes, who looks badly hurt and in pain. As she
rushes to aid him, Superman follows…
However
where the portal takes him, isn't quite what he expected.
Welcome
to the ruins of Olympus, Superman. Hope you survive the experience.
Byrne
and Perez have a great deal of fun putting Superman through his paces here.
They destroy every advantage he has while in the most entertaining ways.
Appears he is at a great disadvantage as long as he stays in the home of the
Gods.
Even
though she's lost Superman, Diana finds the caged Hermes. He seems to be the
only other inhabitant of Olympus. He doesn't say whatever became of the other
Gods, but does name drop the reason Olympus is deserted.
Yup,
that old Byrne favorite, Darkseid. And while he meant to take Olympus, he feels
more than happy to see both Superman and Wonder Woman now wandering the halls
of the Gods. Both of them pissed him off pretty bad in the Legends mini-series.
Just
like that he hatches a plot and suddenly both heroes find the other…only we the
audience know that these have to be doppelgangers due to their locations.
And
if that wasn't the giveaway…
…their
next actions confirm it…
And
Darkseid is having a "Jokeriffic" good time.
Which
leads to an extended history lesson about how the Death of the Old Gods
heralded the birth of both New Genesis and Apokolips. But there was also a
stray bit of energy that hit ancient Greece, creating the Olympian Gods too.
And of course, Darkseid took a shine to their cool floating mountain-top pad
and this is his bid to take it over.
However
getting rid of Superman and Wonder Woman is kind of icing on top of the cake.
And to put some candy sprinkles on that icing would mean getting them to off
each other. Thus the ruse involving Amazing Grace and Kalibak.
Now
with their true identities revealed, Darkseid hopes both heroes will unleash
their full fury on the disguised foes. To that end he has each lead the other
on a merry chase until they are close enough to duck out of sight while putting
Superman and Wonder Woman on a collision course with one another.
Before
we ring the bells on this particular engagement, we jump back to Earth where
someone in the PR biz has gotten wind of the Superman / Wonder Woman fling
thing and they put out a huge story to capitalize upon it. Which is exactly
what DC is doing with this story, so…meta much, Byrne and Perez?
Then
we begin four pages of wordless butt-kicking as Superman and Wonder Woman trash
Olympus and each other in the scrap to end all scraps.
Each
page featuring a tiny little Darkseid head in the middle like some kind of
silent commentary track.
Until
finally, the unlikely occurs: They break through the wall of machines where
Darkseid and Desaad are standing.
Which
appears wasn't all that unlikely after all, as the two were only fighting to
cover their search for the real villains. It turns out they could quickly tell
the fighting style of the other and knew Darkseid's jig was up almost
immediately.
This
makes Darkseid all cranky. Someone get this man a Snickers?
But
be prepared for him to get even more upset as Wonder Woman explains that he's
taken over an Olympus that is deserted BECAUSE the Gods think he is beneath
fighting. That had the Olympian Gods thought him any threat at all, they would
have mounted a defense. Instead they just left to await him leaving in a huff
because he is beneath notice.
This
makes Darkseid extremely pissed. So pissed he almost Omega-beams Desaad. Instead he sets
a timer on a huge bomb and then Boom Tubes out. Hermes tells Wonder Woman and
Superman not to fear…
…as
Olympus cannot be destroyed or harmed and they are in no danger. Turns out he's
right.
Once
back on Earth, Superman admits that Wonder Woman is just too freaky for him,
what with all the Gods and such she deals with. He passes on trying to create a
"thing" between them in what should be a lesson to all women trying
to get rid of a guy who is interested in one thing only: take him on a trip to
meet the God or Gods you worship and that is sure to turn him off.
It
is the first time he gives her his name. Sadly we don't linger long enough to
hear Diana say "Clark? As in Clark KENT? The reporter who covers you?
Seriously?"
Good
job on this one. After worrying me with that start, this tale was a fine, fun
way for these two to hook up without actually "hooking up."
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