The Crapbox of Son Of Cthulhu: Justice League of Science Fiction

Wednesday, January 31, 2018

Justice League of Science Fiction

Justice League of Science Fiction

The Justice League is getting a makeover today by various blogs and the Crapbox is ending our run of Science Fiction works in comic book form, so it was only natural for us to combine the two.

That’s right! We are going to look at what kind of a team roster would make the best Justice League if we pulled only characters from the realms of Science Fiction. I’m using the classic Justice League that I remember most fondly. Some of my choices may be a bit controversial, but I feel I’ve done the league a solid with all my picks.

And when you are done, check out some of these other great blogs:

Comic Reviews by Walt

Chris is on Infinite Earths

Coffee & Comics

Between the Pages

The Superhero Satellite

Got a problem with any of my substitutions? Let’s chat about them in the comments. There are several VERY hard fits and might be you’d like my runner up candidate better.

Superman

replacement

The Iron Giant

As watchers of the movie The Iron Giant will remember, this big lug fancied himself a superhero patterned right after the Man of Steel. And being a Man of Steel himself, I think the fit between these two is so straight on perfect that no one will question him stepping into the Kryptonian’s shoes.

Powers in common

Flight

Super strength

Heat vison (well, heat something anyway)

Super hearing

Super healing

Powers missing

Cold breath – while not actually shown, the Iron Giant has such a huge arsenal of weapons, there probably is a freeze ray or something hidden inside him, we just didn’t get to see it.

Super speed – Alas, the IG is just regular speed, however he can run faster than most people due to his size.

Batman

replacement

Spock

Now hear me out on this one. The Batman is a detective with an array of gadgets who is a powerful hand-to-hand fighter, capable of knocking out a thug in one blow. Well, Spock is a highly logical science officer who unravels cosmic mysteries with computers and his handy tricorder while being an above normal human strength fighter with the ability to nerve pinch someone into unconsciousness.

Powers in common

Hand-to-Hand Fighting

Above average strength

Deductive reasoning

Gadgets for solving mysteries

Knock someone out/Nerve pinch

Powers missing

Intimidation – Spock doesn’t really need it. If he wants to know what you know he’ll just mind meld and find it out.

Swinging around on ropes – Ah, access to a transporter is an even easier way to travel.

Wonder Woman

replacement

Luke Skywalker

I’m probably going to get a bunch of flack for this one, but hear me out at least. Wonder Woman is a super powered hand-to-hand fighter who can block bullets with her bracelets and with a magic lasso of truth. Her personality is one-part warrior and one-part all-mother making her a unique entity and very difficult to replace. My justification on subbing in Luke is based on his common abilities and not so much gender or strength. Luke is decent at blocking or reflecting bullets and laser blasts when given a lightsaber. He can use the Force to pull objects to him like a rope or lasso and it also allows him the limited empathic abilities to know the truth of what people are saying. Moreso, Luke is compassionate and his link to the Force makes his mission that of a warrior for cosmic balance. Go ahead and tear me up over this one, but I think they fit.

Powers in common

Bullet blocking

Lassoing/pulling things toward you

Magical forcing people to tell the truth

Compassion

Powers missing

Super strength – Luke just doesn’t have it.

Flight – Well, in an X-Wing yeah. Not in one and a few Force jumps is all he’s got.

Martian Manhunter

replacement

Space Ghost

Another very difficult slot to fill. I could go one of two ways here: someone who could shape-shift but do NONE of Jonn’s other powers or someone who could do most the other powers but not change shape. I decided to go the latter and picked Space Ghost, one of my heroes from cartoon sci-fi TV land. Space Ghost can become invisible, use better than normal human strength, fly through space, shoot blasts that rival Martian Vision, and communicate over long distances using his wrist bands.

Powers in common

Flight

Super strength

Martian vison (wrist-mounted force beams anyway)

Invisibility

Powers missing

Disguse – Sorry, but the changling nature of Jonn is something few characters possess. Those that do I am saving for later down the line.

Telepathy – The wrist communicator is about the best my guy Space can do.

Flash

replacement

Blur

He can’t run fast enough to travel back in time, but the Transformer Blur is about the closest thing that Science Fiction has to a super-speedster. And that’s in or out of race car mode, too.

Powers in common

Super Speed

Powers missing

Time travel – While he can move fast, he can’t move that fast.

Super vibration – He might could transform into one of those. Lemme check…oh! You don’t mean a vibrat...

Green Lantern

replacement

Nexus

Oh, I’m dragging them out left and right here, regardless of power set. How do Hal and Horatio match up? Well, both got powers from an alien who set them up as the Law in their area of space. Their power allowed them to bring criminals to justice (or melt them) while also protecting their world from alien incursions. So what if Nexus’ fusion abilities aren’t anything like Hal’s green glowing objects, it’s the results that count.

Powers in common

Intergalactic lawmen

Fly in the vacuum of space

Powers missing

Force constructs – not so much, but he can just fusion people to death. I’m saying it’s better.

Aquaman

replacement

Pa’u Zotoh Zhaan

A man who is part fish replaced by a woman who is part plant. Well sort of. For those of you unfamiliar with Farscape, for shame. Pa’u Zotoh Zhaan is one of the show’s best characters, portrayed by the lovely and talented Virginia Hey. You might remember Hey for her role as “Warrior Woman” from the Mad Max sequel The Road Warrior (also that fulfills her quota for Jason Momoa’s version of the chacter in my opinion.) Zhaan is a spiritual priestess who is in tune with life and all of the erotic arts. She has the ability as a tenth level Pa’u of protecting others psychically and to blend in with foliage in such a way as to become invisible. I picked her more for the mindset of being environmentally conscious, as Aquaman typically behaves, but her power set matches pretty closely.

Powers in common

Environmentally conscious

Limited telepathic or empathic abilities

Title that is respected by others of their kind

Mentally talking to a part of nature (fish/plants)

Powers missing

None? I mean, I didn’t test the breath underwater part, but she’s mostly a plant.

Atom

replacement

Lt. Tuck Pendleton

No one has the Atom’s powerset. Except for fellow guys like Dollman or Ant-Man, neither of which I count as science fiction in their origins. Thus I went another way. All the way to the movie Innerspace and Dennis Quaid’s character. Sure he can’t change size on his own, but he can survive a movie co-starring Martin Short and score Meg Ryan in real life by the end of it.

Powers in common

They Shrink

Powers missing

That weird traveling by telephone wires thing. Who does that anyway?

Black Canary

replacement

Leeloo Dallas

…multipass. Yes, I’m taking the smart, chop-socky blonde and upgrading to the futuristic perfect redhead without regretting a thing. Both are sharp enough to figure out most mysteries, have hunky boyfriends, and can clear the floor with guys twice their size. Leeloo is definitely an upgrade though, her version of the canary cry can stop things falling from orbit.

Powers in common

Kung Fu

Karate

Taekwondo

Muay Thai

Judo

Boxing

Wrestling

Aikido

Gymkata

And that made up one where you kill people with your pinkies

Powerful mouth blasts (and I don’t mean breath)

Powers missing

None

Hawkman

replacement

Prince Vultan

Not even sure I can tell these two apart. Which one is the Thanagarian space cop and which one is the ruler of Mongo’s Hawkpeople? One uses a mace and the other uses…a different color mace. Without facial hair, they’d be exactly the same!

Powers in common

Flies like a bird

Hits things with mace

Republican

Powers missing

None

Plastic Man

replacement

Odo

Unlike our last pairing, you can definitely tell these two apart. Nothing says wacky and crazy like Patrick “Eel” O’Brian. And nothing says dour stick in the mud like Deep Space Nine’s favorite changling. I’d say nasty things about them here, but I fear they may actually be spying on this review in the very room I’m in. That’s the problem with guys that can look like anything: They could be ANYWHERE!

Powers in common

Can mimic other things

Powers missing

None (well, humor in Odo’s case but that’s not really a power, just a character flaw)

Green Arrow

replacement

Kimberly Ann Hart (Pink Ranger)

Both can fight well hand-to-hand. Both are proficient with a bow.Both are most likely to throw out a sarcastic or witty retort on each of their respective teams. Both end up dating someone else on the team, too. And both have a giant robot dinosaur vehicle…wait! Okay, Ollie. You better pull out that old “Arrow Car” cause you’ve fallen behind in this one.