Halloween
2019 Post-A-Day 17
The WEEK OF SUCK
Horror-ible
and Tie-ins
Lost
Boys: Reign of Frogs #1
An
80’s excess horror-comedy staple gets a comic sequel (too)
"Untitled”
Story – Hans Rodionoff
Penciler – Joel Gomez
Inker – Don Ho
Colorist – Randy Mayor
and Gabe Eltaeb
Letterer– Steve Wands
Assistant Editor –
Kristy Quinn
Editors – Scott Peterson
July 2008
There
are very few movies that I will give Joel Schumacher credit for, but The Lost
Boys is one of them. It’s a horror-comedy about a California beach town that is
infested with young, hot vampires. Unlike a lot of movies, it works on both the
horror and the comedy levels primarily due to a good script and some overly
great casting.
In
fact, that happens to be Schumacher’s one credit: the guy could pull together a
great cast. St. Elmo’s Fire, Flatliners, The Wiz, even the disastrous and
terrible Batman films he made boasted big name ensemble casts. The Lost Boys is
no exception to this. Jason Patric as the conflicted and tempted older brother.
Jami Gertz as the temptation. Kiefer Sutherland as
the mysterious, evil vampire motorcycle gang / cult leader. Corey Haim as the
fish-in-new-pond younger brother. Dianne Wiest as the “trying hard to do it
all” single mother. Corey Feldman and Jamison Newlander as the oddly named
comedy-element siblings who are the only ones to acknowledge the vampire
problem in their town. Ed Hermann as the slightly suspicious bachelor hitting
on Michael and Sam’s mom. Even Grandpa Barnard Hughes is exactly on point.
And
don’t get me started on overly muscular sax guy Tim Cappello…
As
a movie, The Lost Boys is a confection. Something you will swallow and not
remember eating an hour later. It is filled with good-to-great performances,
but it doesn’t have much staying power. The movie celebrated an era in cinema
where even horror wasn’t so horrible. The music from the soundtrack will follow
you home from the theater more than any single scene. However, the feels it
evoked would launch several careers.
And
a sequel movie released 20 years later direct to DVD. The sequel starred
Feldman, who reprised his role as Edgar Frog. Corey Haim and Jamison Newlander
have cameos at the very end of the film, but none of the other cast members
return, even in cameo. While it tracked well for a DVD release, the film garnered
atrocious reviews and currently sits at the little-coveted 0% on Rotten Tomatoes.
A
third film was green lit and filmed. Feldman and Newlander were attached and I
assume it is even further down at the bottom of some Wal-Mart $5 movie bin. It
also holds a 0% on Rotten Tomatoes.
To think I hold out a lot of hope that this comic will be good or capture the
magic of the first film is to misread what I’ve been saying above. The Lost
Boys is a near-perfect accident, a confluence of elements that are almost
impossible to capture a second time. A melding of young Teen Beat heartthrobs
with a soundtrack straight off a “best of” MTV playlist and a competent, funny
script directed by someone who knew how to put pretty people in proper
lighting. I’m not stating that the actors didn’t have skill or talent, but I am
saying that they all were very niche players and The Lost Boys put them right
in their lane. The other movies prove recapturing the magic is impossible given
that everything, the world included, has moved on from that moment.
And
while the comic can cover over the actors’ flaws in growing up into pulpy
adults, it will always miss that esthetic that only being made in the 80’s for
an 80’s audience would create.
We
begin back in Luna Bay, California with this young boy approaching a
dilapidated mobile home in a beat-up area of town. The doorway is littered with
crosses and the furnishings inside look sparse to non-existent. This is one of
our Frog brothers, certainly.
It’s
Edgar, Corey Feldman’s character, and the central protagonist of the two sequel
movies. This is a sequel to the original movie, but a prequel to the two
spinoffs. Of note here is that the writer of this four-issue series is Hans
Rodionoff, the scriptwriter for the first direct-to-DVD sequel. Not certain if
writing comics is a step up or down from that, all I know is that he’s here.
Also
of note is that Michael (Patric) and Sam (Haim) were the central characters of
the first movie. This is like those Tremors sequels where they concentrate on
Michael Grossman and Reba McEntire’s characters when all we really cared about
were Kevin Bacon and Fred Ward.
Edgar
always was the fast-talking, idiot half of the Frog brothers team. And it
certainly seems like this concept where he acts like a dick to this kid while
hunting vampires might be a bit of fun.
Although,
it has to get better, and quickly. This kid needs a name and a reason to want
to hunt vampires. Edgar needs better lines (the kid is already inside
your house.)
Sadly,
all that hope dries up quickly. This passing the torch storyline gets sidelined
because Edgar doesn’t want the kid to get “hurt”. It would have been better for
Edgar to hear him out completely first.
But
no, we have to instead have this REALLY odd, tone change bit where Edgar tells
a tale that might as well be called The Frog Brothers Go To Washington and
Fight Congressional Vampires.
…to
bring the President the head of the vampire Senator. File this under “things
you can’t make up.”
Now
I’m not certain if this is supposed to be Edgar Frog’s overblown imagination
and an attempt at getting the kid to fall on his knees with hero worship or THINGS THAT REALLY HAPPEN IN THE LOST BOYS UNINVERSE, but
it fails to connect with me. That was four pages of story I won’t be getting
back and it seemed excessive for a fake flashback. Either stick with reality or
make the fantasy shorter and plainer.
Likewise,
this cock-and-bull story that Edgar peppers the kid with. Now make up your mind
Edgar: do you want the kid to stay away from vampire hunting or do you want to
tempt him into doing it? Doesn’t appear you are being written in a consistent
manner. Either be haunted by your past supernatural experiences or revel in
them, but you gotta pick a side, man!
And
here again, we go into a weird flashback thing that means the entire Lost Boys
universe was WAAAAAY stranger than the first movie made out. In truth, this
“more vampires is better” approach doesn’t work for me. The tone of the movie
was everyone was too hip for the room, but hey the hippest cats ended up being
vampires. The tone of this is Edgar knows the secret history of the USA which
is rife with tons and tons of vampires and we’ve thrown out all the hip pop
culture feels.
The
tone shift is killing it.
As
is the disjointed narrative. Now we go to random scene in 1990 where Edgar
talks with mom on the phone. She warns him of “bloodsuckers” in Washington D.C.
Someone (his brother?) buys her a Washington Monument desk ornament that’s made
of wood. See, it’s like a small stake! Bet we see that used in a future issue.
Next
is a cab ride from a motel (still in the past? Still in DC? *shoulder shrug*
Your guess is as good as mine.)
…and
what the writer hopes will amount to two seconds of nostalgia while you remember that
Doors cover from the movie…
…to
the final end stroke of seeing a vampire that is SUPPOSED to be Kiefer
Sutherland’s character (he got impaled on antlers, not wood, remember?)
In
all, the book doesn’t succeed with me. The first movie worked as a quirky
Goonies meets MTV meets Dracula comedy-horror. Every follow-up since rings a
bit hollow. As I said, the formula for this to work again would take a miracle
to complete.
And miracles ain't that common.
And miracles ain't that common.
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