Halloween
2019 Post-A-Day 31
Horror-ible
Weird
Detective #1
Lovecraftian
horrors meet police procedural!
"The Stars Are
Wrong”
Story – Fred Van Lente
Art – Guiu Vilanova
Colorist – Mauricio
Wallace & Josan Gonzalez
Letterer– Nate Peikos of
Blambot
Assistant Editor – Kevin
Burkhalter
Editor – Spencer Cushing
June 2016
A
month ago, three issues of Weird Detective came my way. I plucked them all up
and carried them home. Ballsy decision on my part. Too many times has this SoC
gotten burned by Lovecraft inspired stuff. I think that is evident from my past
reviews of retools, reworks, additions, pastiches, imitations, and other
various comics that leech off of the concepts created by Howard Phillips
Lovecraft.
A
majority of them are horrible.
Blind
buying three of Weird Detective took guts. For me it was an honest attempt at
finding something Lovecraftian to review for the Halloween season. I like to
throw in a title or two if I can. Makes sense, given the blog title and all.
I
was about three pages into issue one when it hit me what I had stumbled onto.
By the big reveal half-way through that same issue (most of which I had guessed)
I was hooked. And when I finished the third, I rushed to Amazon and ordered the
trade (which you should buy. Right away!)
Weird
Detective isn’t just GOOD, it is GREAT. It’s not a Lovecraft story, per say.
The pervasive dread aspect isn’t present and there is a general feeling that
this would work as a weekly TV show in many areas. Liberties are taken with a
few Lovecraft beasties. Yet by the end of the book, you really don’t care. The
whole thing is that damned entertaining.
I
mean that. It had me smiling from ear to ear. With no more preamble, let’s jump
right in. Initially, this first page got me a bit riled up…
…that
is, after I slowed my reading down to read it correctly. This is a misquote
from Lovecraft’s The Call of Cthulhu and to a Lovecraft fan this appears
as a blasphemy or lazy or inattention to detail. The true quote goes
“The
most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human
mind to correlate all its contents. We live on a placid island of ignorance in
the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage
far.”
Note
the subtle differences. It took three tries before it sunk in with me and then
we were off to the races. From it I gathered three things: First off, we aren’t
dealing with a human. Secondly, whatever we are dealing with has a much firmer
grasp on the madness lurking out in the infinite cosmic void than we do. Thirdly,
this being would probably see us through that same lense as the starting graphic
slowly descending to Manhattan views us – as bugs on a window. Interesting to
watch, but far beneath it.
Turn
the page and we are subjected to a stream of consciousness while also watching
the starting incident of a mystery we will have to solve. The narrative
explains the limits of human sensation, beginning with the sight and sound. The
pictures show a group of kids at a community pool in New York as they discover
a dead body under the water and rush away screaming.
The
flowing commentary on human senses continues, but note that the party making
these observations does not see themselves as human. The book brings him front
and center now, his name is Detective Sebastian Greene. He doesn’t act like
most people, but as his fellow officer points out “He’s from Canada.”
And
all his demeaning our five senses and distilling their number down to three should
not distract us from the reason he is here at this pool…
…there’s
been a murder. And it’s a weird one.
Isn’t
that delicious! Not the murder victim’s method of passing, silly! I mean the
two mysteries going on simultaneously. We have Greene who clearly isn’t human,
so what the heck is he? And we have a dead body, gone the way of a discarded
piece of clothing, sucked clean with only the outer skin remaining. Who or what
could have done such a thing?
While
we ponder those items, a few clues crop up and we get introduced to Greene’s
new partner, Sana Fayez. Greene isn’t pleased with being saddled with anyone,
he wants to go this alone. He is currently on a winning streak of closing
cases. His superior is about to insist though. And as for Sana, she came to the
same conclusion about how the body got in the pool, so we know she’s no slouch
in the brains department.
While
Greene’s supervisor lays down the law on him about taking on Sana as a partner,
we get a clear indication that Greene plays by a different set of rules that
us. He isn’t human, boasting of seventeen senses instead of our “three.” One of
those he uses at this moment on Sana called emotionalocation that allows him to
see and hear what she is thinking.
Which,
incredible useful skill that it is, allows him to listen in to what she’s been
told about partnering up with him. She’s a mole, sent in to see what’s going on
with Greene. The reason is that up until two months ago, Greene was just another
hump pulling a paycheck. Then suddenly, something changed. Greene started
clearing cases, making noticeable collars, solving crimes. And for some reason,
this hirer-up the chain wants to know why.
It
also appears that Sana has a past that makes her vulnerable. She is a whistleblower,
but in what capacity Greene doesn’t see here.
But
what he does see is that his jig might soon be up. Sana is a threat if he wants
to keep his alien nature undercover. From the look on his face, you can tell
this is a concern.
Greene
wanders off, but Sana quickly tails him and they start talking with potential
witnesses. Remember those unique methods Captain Leong was speaking of? Watch
them in action…
The
detectives are interviewing the slimy pool guy in the boys changing room, when
Greene picks up on something no one else would have.
Might
have come off better had he given Sana a little warning, however Greene’s “abilities’
come in handy in catching the janitor/pedo-filmmaker. Specifically Ranos…
…a
reverse sonar thing that allows Greene to do the old Martian Manhunter trick to
yank the guy’s ponytail. Love Greene’s non-committal smile at the end.
With
an example like this, it is easy to see how Greene would be the asset to any
police department. Whatever happened two months ago (we can start to draw our
conclusions and for MOST of us Lovecraftians, we know where this is going),
Greene is now an official supercop. But also, as Sana puts it so succinctly, “Deeply
Weird.”
To
which the proper response is…
As
we pull out on that intuitive leap from Greene that most assuredly isn’t AND
the numerous lost animal posters pointing to other potential victims of our
perp…
…we
fade in to an evening at the Greene residence. Dinner consists of downing a two
liter bottle of diet soda pop. And as for companionship,…
Green
has a cat. A cat that he can talk to using the power of Mochadin, the sense of
reading the mind through the specific flash patterns along the edges of the iris
and cornea. And the cat is typical of all cats: selfish, self-absorbed, but willing
to help Greene out if it means it gets some benefit from the assistance it
provides. I think Lovecraft would approve of this characterization.
Note
that the interaction here is key as well. Greene was sent here on a mission by
unknown factions. The empty skin is a lead to what that mission is about, but
Greene needs time to figure out where that clue takes him. Sadly, with Sana on
his tail he might not find the answer in time.
And
as the body in the next room can attest, Greene definitely isn’t Greene. I love
all the talking cat bits because they are not only funny, but also spot on. I’ve
been a cat owner for years this is exactly our struggle.
We
close scene with Greene and shift over to these two lovebirds who are shaking
up for a night of debauchery in this abandoned tenement that is being restored.
Come to find out they are both children of connected mob families, Raina Anzio
and her guy Edgardo Nunez, The building is owned by the Edgardo’s father. It
looks like a fun little romantic encounter until Raina settles in for their “picnic”
and Edgardo beats a hasty retreat to the restroom.
Raina
gets cozy, sees a sinister shadow, and then gets “uncozy.” She screams at it, acting
all bad girl and I suppose this works.
…because
the shadow vanishes. But a sudden scream alerts her that not all is well with Edgardo.
She rushes down the hall to find her boyfriend crying out in pain from the
bathroom. I suppose Edgardo should eat more fiber and/or drink more water.
I’d
be wrong though. Edgardo is having an awful time because something has crawled
up the pipes, entered his butthole, and is now eating him out from the inside!
Yuck!
Raina
won’t have too long to worry about this as her fear sends her racing down the
hall and out of the building…unfortunately a few floors too early. She catches
the fire escape on the way down, but with her cranium, ending up as a wet spot
in the alley.
Next
page we catch Greene hard at work studying human detective movies for
inspiration of how to be a human detective. I love the Rockford Files one!
Greene
is making progress…or seemed to be when his captain calls and tells him of Raina’s
body being discovered. Greene “deploys immediately,” prompting another “Canadians
are weird.”
Greene isn’t Canadian, though. And if you haven’t figured it out…if the clues of who would want to stop the stars from being right, Cthulhu from awakening, and the sinister Old Ones from returning to our universe are not prevalent enough…then the book spoils it for you.
Greene isn’t Canadian, though. And if you haven’t figured it out…if the clues of who would want to stop the stars from being right, Cthulhu from awakening, and the sinister Old Ones from returning to our universe are not prevalent enough…then the book spoils it for you.
Greene
isn’t here, but something is impersonating his body and holding the mind of a Yithian. And Greene’s mind is locked
in the body of his abductor, one of the Great Race of Yith. Isn’t that just
delicious?
We
drop in with Sana, who is having an issue with her wife over who takes care of
the baby that day. She’s also on the Raina investigation and has to “immediately
deploy.” However, that will mean with the baby in tow, as Bev puts her foot
down.
Which
leads to this wonderful bit between Greene, Sana, and her baby…
…this
book is just full of fun little surprises.
And
unfortunate ones as well. Raina’s body being one of those. The minor crimes
division has a major mess on its hands now that an Anzio has been killed. And
while it seems a crime of passion to Sana and the other detectives…
…Greene’s
extra senses tells him it clearly isn’t. He uses Aushure to read the psychic
footprint of Edgardo and his last trip to the little boy’s room. The body they
are missing is Greene’s next clue in how to stop the coming of the Great Old
Ones.
However,
he isn’t free to act on any of this knowledge as his partner wants to know how
he’s getting all the hunches.
Here
we dwell on Greene’s thought process. The Great Race are of one mind, like being
part of the Borg collective. Being away from them makes Greene vulnerable and
we begin to connect with how he sees us. It illuminates what makes him
different and also humanizes his plight. To the extent that you CAN humanize a
centuries old, alien race that shifts from form to form through time. I guess
it is more a sense of empathy that it engenders.
And
he sees us as monsters. And we see him…in ways so utterly different than he
expects.
Utterly
alien, alone, and trying desperately to fit in so he can accomplish his mission
and go home. To do that they need to find Edgardo, but Greene already knows
that’s a lost cause. And speaking of lost causes, Edgardo senior appears to be
one, as his shop has been ransacked, and he has gone missing.
Well,
not exactly missing. He’s been captured by the head of the Anzio clan who is
also Raina’s father. He’s trying to find Edgardo Jr. Oh and as for the Anzio
sons? They look a little fishy!
As
in Deep One fishy! Looks like Raina’s mother wants a word with Edgardo senior…
And
that leads to Anzio trying Edgardo Jr’s phone. Greene has it and answers only
to hear Anzio threaten all of the Nunez clan…
…and
to begin torturing Edgardo senior. All of which Greene keeps from Sana.
So
that evening, while she is staking out Greene’s place for answers to his super
hunches while receiving intel on the body that confirms Greene’s suspicions
down to a “T”…
…she
throws out a hunch of her own, owing to the body wearing biker shorts.
Her
next call is to Bev, which isn’t pleasant, but does paint a picture of what a
human would think of Greene’s home life, which amounts to drinking diet soda by
the 2 liter and staring at his cat.
And
then the “excellent plan” begins with Greene leaving.
He
ends up at a public park that is a known hang out for the homeless, with Sana
following closely behind…
And
he heads deeper into the surrounding forest…
To
where the homeless have setup a temporary campsite…complete with Elder Sign
stick figures and a quick shout-out to the King in Yellow.
But
Sana can’t find her target, as Greene knew she was following him and lead her
here on purpose.
Because
the stars are right and soon Cthulhu WILL rise. If that happens, the Great Race
will be destroyed along with everything else the Elder Gods touch. That means
Greene has to stop them, here – now! At all costs, his mission must succeed.
And
he can’t let Sana stand in the way of that.
We
end issue one as the trap is sprung and Sana looks to be cut bait in the claws
of three very ferocious human-Deep One hybrids. But don’t count her out just
yet. The story has a few tricks up its sleeves.
Weird
Detective wrapped up in five short issues and it has me begging for more. Sadly,
the timing appears to be off as no sequel has been announced. There were plenty
of places for the story to go, too. I was hoping for an ongoing or at lest
another mini, but nothing has risen to the surface yet. Maybe you Crapbox
readers could make some noise on this one? I certainly would pay full price for
more antics of this nature.
That
ends Post-A-Day, always a fun and daunting time. The Crapbox is officially back
open, but no telling how many reviews I can pop out a week. My life schedule is
filling up quickly. There will be more reviews coming though, just don’t expect
me to edit them.
HAPPY
HALLOWEEN, EVERYONE!
STAY
SAFE OUT THERE!
