The Omega Saga #1

Thanksgiving 2018

Forgotten Heroes

The Omega Saga #1

Fuggedaboutit!

"Episode One – Chapter 1”

Writer/Artist – Michael A. Gerardo, Jr.

Colorist/Letterer – Christopher J. Navetta

Spring 1998

We kicked off pre-Thanksgiving with a book that deserved not to be forgotten, so I thought it only fair that I queue up something that should sit at the bottom of the dustbin unremembered.

It is interesting that since Southpaw Publishing put out The Omega Saga in 1998 and folded up after three issues (0, 1 and 2, respective), BOTH names have already been reused. I’ve found various internet references to another person using the company name Southpaw Publishing, so that’s recently recycled. About six years ago Axess Comics came out with their own The Omega Saga, which was a completely unrelated title. I guess it goes to prove you can’t keep a good name down. 

Or any name, for that matter.

But to go with that name you need a good concept for it to succeed. And while I know NOTHING about this book’s successor, I have read Michael A. Gerardo, Jr.’s The Omega Saga #1. From that reading I can state that most anything would be a step up.

I know that sounds intensely harsh, but this book has LOTS of problems.

While reading it I got the feeling that I was watching a taping of Jersey Shore. Only it was Jersey Shore with 30-40 uninteresting characters.

The book can be divided into two parts. The first part shows the introduction of characters, which the book has too many of. I assume Gerardo, Jr. felt an affinity for a lot of his neighbors and friends, because every page or so we arrive at a mob scene of four or five new characters who all get a one line speaking part. Gerardo, Jr. doesn’t seem to get that as the writer he is in charge of directing the story. That filtering out unnecessary banter is his job. Instead he uses the book for walk-ons of every mook in his New Jersey neighborhood.

It is distracting from the story he is trying to tell and clutters up his art panels. We have so much unimportant information to filter through, by the time something interesting happens we have tuned out completely.

And that something interesting is that second part of the book. You know, the superhero conflict part of the book. When it does finally occur, it also turns out to be uninteresting. Conflicts are resolved so quickly we barely notice them and all these onscreen characters means we aren’t really sure how anything relates to anything else.

Gerardo, Jr. certainly put a lot into the book, acting as writer and artist. And he must of wanted to pay back those people in his life that supported him in this endeavor. Neither of those make the book any more readable, but I am stretching to find something nice to say about The Omega Saga before savaging it any more.

To me it is so frustrating to watch beginning writers NOT have someone act as editor of their product. There is no Editor credit anywhere on this thing and it is pretty apparent that Gerardo, Jr. acted in that role himself. The book shows all the hallmarks of having no one explaining to Gerardo, Jr. why the concepts he was putting in didn’t work from a story perspective and asking him to trim pages, character and focus his plot more.

Let’s get right into it, I suppose.

We start with a little bit of promise. It’s a muddle of “new names” salad, but it at least sounds like a buildup that will have a payoff later. It begins with the blue-faced dude arriving at a domed ice fortress in the Emperor’s Shuttle from Star Wars. And if you are gonna riff on Star Wars, we know already THIS is our MAIN BAD GUY and his henchman.

Which, I’m going to spoil for you, is horribly sad. Sad because these two never show up in any way in the rest of the story after these two pages. They also are the start of the roster of names you will encounter that are somehow linked to people in the book and that roster is far, far too long. Alpha Triumph and Lord Ice start talking about people we haven’t seen and know nothing about. We should get out a clean sheet of paper and start a list. 

We’ve got General Becket and Lady Valentine and The Omega, who is the son of Becket, and Gina, who is The Omega’s cousin and some non-disclosed relation to General Becket…Oh, and this kid:

…Marty Ganes, which is Amanda Jones’ son by Mason Ganes who happens to be Alpha Triumph’s nephew because Mason Ganes is Alpha Triumph’s brother. And we should wait until Mason finds out.

In the span of one page the book went from “oh, okay…Star Wars bad guy riff…the writer artist could know what he’s doing...” to “this guy has no idea how to setup a story.” I mean seriously do not throw out over a half dozen character names of people that you don’t plan on showing until much later in the book. I lost complete interest in the story here, feeling like the author had asked me to keep a scorecard for him.

And to be honest, I had completely forgotten about this intro until re-reading it for the review. It literally does nothing to better setup an upcoming conflict in the book than the scenes of the actual conflict when they occur. And it is so chock full of names that you just blow past it hoping the next page will clear things up.

It doesn’t. It instead begins with three time-travelers appearing at the Brooklyn bridge (or a facsimile thereof). And all they do is further muddy the water.

I’ll take this trio’s appearance as time to comment on the muddy, ugly texture Gerardo, Jr. adds to his art by making every ink stroke a solid thick line. His choice of color pallet is also lacking. We seem to get the same repeated endlessly. It makes every page a look like a messy, unsatisfying goulash.

But all this would be workable if the story was decent. 

Next we have a whole page dedicated to showing that this universe has a Howard Stern-type called Howard Storm. Gerardo, Jr. is using it to highlight people he knows in real life, I’m pretty certain. I can think of no better reason for this line-‘em-up and shoot’em type panel of these women. And that’s a major problem with the rest of the book. Too much of this isn’t in service of the story. It is just tacked on, wasted space.

Finally on page five we meet our main protagonist: Mason T. Ganes. Ganes is “The Omega,” a new superhero whose main power appears to be getting so drunk he’s hung over the next morning and sleeping around on his girlfriend with her sister. Yeah, he’s a creep of another caliber, with his weird Van Halen tattoo and disgusting mug. I hate him already.

Not that this book seems to notice. It ratchets up Marty’s jerk quotient by having him not jump immediately out of bed, stunned at how his infidelity might hurt the woman he supposedly loves feelings. No, it instead has him possibly hitting it again. Like we, the audience think this will be somehow endearing. It’s like John Travolta explaining his summer in Grease, a bragging pool of toxic masculinity. 

Then Mason goes to this gym for boxers because we are really going for the full Italian thing here. It is just another excuse to draw people he knows in real life in as characters who have no real connection to a story or plot. i.e. more wasted time.

So it is both an ugly book and an ugly story.

And this continues on, as Mason meets with his business partner Brickman in the back office. Brickman’s older daughter is there and of course she’s wearing some weird, skin-tight outfit with a boob triangle shaped like a star. Brickman invites Mason for dinner, he says he has to meet Paulie (a/k/a Kid Omega) at his “other job” first, which prompts daughter Reann to ask what that “other job” is.

Which segues us over to a picture of the actual jersey shore and then into a strip-tease club where Paulie is hanging out. We get a full page of Gerardo trying to draw a sexy stripper called GG (shouldn’t that be Gigi?...yah know what, never mind.), most of which looks awkward with his choice of color pallet and felt-tip inking skills. Then “Roach” goes up to tip her in this cringe-worthy bit.

Actually, that was awful.

Moving on, we find pages that Gerardo, Jr. should have left on the cutting room floor as Mason’s actual girlfriend Lea meets up with the Brickman Family. A family that includes this weird balloon-headed kid Reggie.

While they go off to dinner, there are some supervillains aligned with the bad guy from page one hovering over the city. They mention that Lea is somehow their sleeper agent, which I don’t really care about at this point because how could I? There are already so many people introduced in the book that you’d need Salesforce to keep track of them all. 

And I note the inclusion of teleportation machinery called “Brundle pods” in clear reference to David Cronenberg’s The Fly. I’m not giving any points for it, the book has made me that upset with how it is handling everything else.

We finally get to a superhero in uniform on page 17. It’s Mason/ The Omega flying in late to meet Kid Omega while fighting being hung over and his feelings of guilt over sleeping with his girlfriend’s sister several times the night before. Also a walk on by Saturday Night Fever era John Travolta as a newscaster. 

And while Paulie realizes he is also late to meet Omega because he’s spent the entire day drinking and tipping strippers, we get another page of “the artist goes to a strip bar a lot and told the dancers he would include them by name in his book as if this would impress them.” You know these are real life strippers, because if you told random ladies you knew that you would be including them in your comic as strippers, they would likely sue you for libel.

So many heads, so little appreciation for proportion. This is the entire theme of my problems with the book: as both writer and artist Gerardo, Jr. is trying to cram so much crap into his book that he loses focus. He has little drawing talent, that’s for certain, but he might improve if he stopped trying to shove in six to seven characters per panel just to name-drop. And as a writer he might improve if he cut about 75% of his plot lines and concentrated on telling one or two stories really well. Instead we get a blender mix of bad art and bad plotting. We get characters we don’t care about showing up for two panels only to disappear in a forest of other characters who will also show up for two panels.

This book badly needed an editor that could rein in Gerardo, Jr.’s worst impulses.

What follows is Kid Omega biking past the time travelers (remember them?) who are under a transparent field rendering them invisible. If only we the audience didn’t have to see them either. Then we get this shot of Omega whooshing to meet Kid Omega who has somehow biked to the top of this bridge.

I love how our “hero” has so much respect for law enforcement that disses the job they do. A job they at turn up for every day on time and not hungover or drunk to do. Putz.

Also, Mason is already late for his meeting with Lea, his girlfriend, yet agrees to go to the strip club with Paulie after they take care of the bus hijacking. Not minutes before he was thinking about how shitty a boyfriend he is. Seems like The Omega is one of the stupidest crimefighters ever.

Meanwhile, “GG” is leaving the strip club when she runs afoul of this guy getting a BJ in the alley. This is the “General Beckett” mentioned on the second page of the book, arriving here 23 pages in..

He is going after GG with some kind of modified gun that shoots up her expensive car no stripper should be able to afford.

Meanwhile, Kid Omega a/k/a Paulie a/k/a Roach shows up by crashing through the front window of the bus that is hijacked.

…while The Omega flies in to prove that Gaz is no longer in charge.

And to prove that keeping one storyline going is not in the interest of being consistent with the rest of this horrible, horrible book, we now switch BACK to GG getting her car blown up by a well-placed round from General Becket. Not that it has the desired result. 

That word balloon is from GG who used to go by Omega Girl, but now is Heroine. A word she uses to play on “addiction” which implies the author doesn’t know the difference between “heroine” and “heroin”. Also, it’s stupid. A junkie name for a junk hero.

Then it’s back to the bus situation with Omega letting loose with some kind of green omega shaped blasts that hit Gaz in the shoulder.

…knocking both criminal and the hostage out of the teetering bus….

…and then before you can say whiplash, it’s back to Heroine…

And then back to Omega…

…and then back to Heroine. Jeebus book! Thankfully this is the last page, which introduces three new villains to Heroine. As if we needed more characters. After this I’m out and so was everyone else. Issue two came and went with possibly little readership and then into the dustbin went The Omega Saga.

At least until a better book took the title. And how do I know it was a better book? ANY book would be better than this trash.

To sum up: The Omega Saga was a book that shouldn’t be. It needed someone to edit it for length and content, someone other than the two people involved in the writing, art, and coloring. It feels like some nineteen year-old’s wish fulfillment where superheroes spend the day looking at half naked women, screwing anything that moves, and getting drunk. There is no moral code to anyone in the book, nor is it worth reading.

Truly a book best forgotten.

The 7 Guys of Justice #3

Thanksgiving 2018

Forgotten Heroes

The 7 Guys of Justice #3

A near-perfect superhero parody

"The Jerque Imperative – Chapter3: Leave it to Beavers”

Writer – Brian Joines

Artist – Joshua C Rowe

April 2000

I cannot think of a better way to kick off our pre-Thanksgiving salute to Forgotten Heroes than this book.

We are doing Forgotten Heroes now because they fall it two very distinctive categories. The first are heroes that were completely sub-par. Real loser types, who from either the writing or the art were not really worth our time to remember. There are many of these in the Crapbox. Mostly they are failed concepts from garage-made companies who folded up by the time their fourth issue rolled off the presses.

The second category are admitted a better find: great hero stories in either art or writing that were just missed by mainstream audiences. These characters and books don’t belong in the dustbin of history and I feel so good when I’m able to bring you one when I discover it.

Certainly that makes this month a “Lady or the Tiger” kind of thing, but you know SoC. That’s just the way he likes it. And as luck would have it, today’s pick is way more lady than tiger.

The 7 Guys of Justice was the only book published by False Idol Studios. It achieved modest success apparently, as the book ran for 13 issues, which is far longer than most independent publishers could afford to support a failing title. Obviously, they were doing something right with the book.

The title was helmed by writer Brian Joines and artist Joshua Rowe, who share the creative credit for 7 Guys. Brian went on to write for other independent comics, his work showing up in the titles Noble Causes, Secret Identities, Imagine Agents, Krampus and the extension of the movies’ book series Bill & Ted tie-ins. As you’ll soon see, Joines has great writing chops when it comes to comedy/parody.

As for Rowe, he disappeared from comics after 7 Guys. I am a little saddened by this. Not because I find his art great, but more because I find it rudimentary and crude. If there is a weak point in the book, it is Rowe’s art. BUT, it is serviceable. Enough to last an astonishing (for b&w independent books) thirteen issue run. The panels convey the story and several work with the tone and theme Joines is writing. However, we are looking at crude line art and sometimes it gets a bit jumbled. Other times, the frames look empty and unfinished with no backgrounds or establishing shots.

I’m sad because Rowe might have developed into a sought-after artist had he kept after it in the comics realm. With the right mentor and training, he could have taken his natural storytelling abilities and enhanced what strengths I do see in his work. There’s good stuff in the book, but it is generally over shadowed by just “okay” stuff. Still, I’d rather have him than many of the artists I’ve complained about here in the Crapbox. I can see the story Rowe is spinning clearly, without too much distraction. That’s a big deal.

Wherever he’s at and whatever he’s doing, I wish him well.

But enough background, you came here to see some heroes and that’s exactly what the Crapbox is delivering today. The 7 Guys of Justice, as the title implies, is a bit of a superhero parody. The book is done up in the style of the Giffen-DeMatteis Justice League or, for that one person in the audience who doesn’t know what that is, as a band of people with as many quirks as they have superpowers. The threats they face usually have a comical element to them as well.

I’m happy to report that Joines pulls all this off in style. He “gets” humor, so much so that I found each page delightful which is the hallmark of a good comedic story. I would seriously encounter enough cleverness with each page turn to warrant a legitimate snicker or at the very least a decent grin with eye-roll.

The only hard part to overcome is the fact that we are three issues in and while we have a prior issue blurb, it doesn’t do enough to establish which character is which. Also the story flow is complicated by the fact that there are TWO battles going on at the same moment at two separate locations. And don’t look at Rowe to give you backgrounds with his character graphics that allow you differentiate between the two places, because that isn’t his style. It’s lucky for you that I’m here to narrate for a bit.

The team of heroes is at Nathan Explode Manor combating guys in jet packs. Nathan Explode is an ex-hero, about to reluctantly hand over reins of his hero identity to Johnny his school-age son. And yes, his power has something to do with throwing mini bombs at people.

Nathan has also gathered a bunch of heroes at his place to confront the evil Dr. Jerque (I didn’t make that name up) and now they are under attack by these jet pack minions. The heroes are sort-of lead by Lord Talon, the guy all in white (or yellow) that looks like a low-rent Hawkman. It will quickly become apparent that he’s missing a few cards in his deck.

They are joined by a giant fish-headed dude named Moray Earl, a woman in lingerie who is super strong called Nightie Knight, a super-smart talking chimp called Ugly Monkey, and a mysterious cloaked figure wearing a 50’s era cooking apron emblazoned with the words “World’s Greatest Mom” called Hunter-Gatherer.

Our seventh “Guy of Justice” is an actor who is supposed to be in a Mostess (think “Hostess”) cupcake commercial as the company’s hero mascot: The Surprise. The commercial is taking place at Big City Studios, in the heart of downtown. However, the shoot has been interrupted with the arrival of Dr Jerque, his hench-person Steven, and his army of talking BEAVERS.

Yup. Roll camera…

Joines prose style pulls this off. I get a chuckle on page one, so he’s racking up points right away. As is “Johnny Explode,” who starts taking down bad guys left and right. 

We should probably see how the rest of the Guys are fairing…

That’s Nightie Knight taking the blast as Moray Earl asks if she’s okay. Then Ugly Monkey has some words of support for Hunter-Gatherer. Just wanted to be sure everyone got a clear photo op here at the beginning.

While I was doing that, Nathan Explode was surrounded and about to be gunned down. Johnny whips in at the last moment an saves his Father’s neck, however…

Note that Lord Talon, the supposed leader of this troop, is kind of an idiot. Or at least he’s “special” in an almost Blue Falcon kind of way. In fact that model makes a bunch of sense given his look too. The heroes present too strong a front for our villainous henchmen, and the last three of them fly off.

And with that, let’s turn to battle number two where we find the actor playing the Surprise hiding behind a barrier while Dr. Jerque plots with his talking beavers to cutaway the foundation supports holding the town aloft over a large chasm. Jack, the actor playing his sidekick, tries to talk him out of leaping into a battle with Jerque that will likely get him killed.

I love this entire exchange. It resonates with my sense of comedic timing to an absolute “T”. I like the pauses and the interruptions. I like the flow and the fact that while it is exposition explaining last issue, it also works as two characters talking to one another in character voice. Just a great job by Joines in my opinion.

And if you think I like his talking human characters…

…you know I’m going to go ga-ga over his chatty little beavers.

It’s the little things that matter. Like that beavers know where New Brunswick is…or that they understand punctuation symbols or the names of cupcake company mascots.

What can I say? I just love beavers. 

And talking monkeys come a close second.

Which means jetpacks for everyone and a hasty trip down to Big City Studios for a climatic battle against the evil beavers of Dr. Jerque. (insert maniacal laughter here).

And those beavers look pretty unopposed as Dr. Jerque’s men appear to be holding off the police.

All of which leads to the introduction of minor character Sargent Brock Puddleduck, who we will see a bit later on. He’s a hoot.

But for us, we have to move on to a battle of epic proportions…with beavers.

Love how Russell (a/k/a Ugly Monkey) takes charge here. I giggled at both how Dr. Jerque's character stance and The Surprise’s bound embarrassed form are enhanced by the addition of beavers. I’m pretty much coming to the conclusion that everything is better with beavers.

Take this fight scene:

Or this one where Johnny frees the Surprise. (that sounds almost inappropriate.) Note that the beavers get some of the best lines, too.

In the end, our seven…uh, guys of justice overwhelm the beavers (first time I’ve ever used that phrase), and Dr. Jerque activates his teleportation device to get away.

And just like that, Johnny captures King Larry ending the beaver invasion and the Surprise and Hunter-Gatherer move in to capture the Doc and his henchperson Steve.

Unfortunately, the damage done to the pilings under the city is too much. Even the heroes can’t hold off disaster forever. Thus the only solution is to book it out of there.

It appears Dr. Jerque will have the last laugh after all…

Just like that, the studio is gone…

…and possibly Monkey, Talon, Earl and uh..Nightie along with it.

Wait! Of course, they aren’t dead. Mainly because they have to give the explanation as to why the whole city isn’t destroyed, just the studio.

But Jerque has the last laugh, because his teleporter is finally warmed up.

Days later, at an event set to unveil the heroes who saved the city, Nathan Explode calls them the Seven Knights of Justice. The name sticks, and the group decides to take that on as a title. Unfortunately, they elect Lord Talon as the speaker for the event…

Then we get an entire nine-panel page of “coming attractions”…

…which I love since it shows Joines isn’t resting on a singular idea for the title. Not to mention, some of those look intriguing. 

And I have to agree with the Surprise here.

 

The book features three ending pages of the script that kicked off the idea for the group a coming next issue blurb and this four-panel bit as you exit. 

So, yeah! Kinda loved it. All of it. Nobel Causes is looking more and more like a book I’ll have to pick up, not only from the Graveyard Shift’s creative team working on it, but now Brian Joines as well. As for more of the 7 Guys? I’d read ‘em, just not too certain how plentiful they are.

These are Forgotten Heroes, remember?