Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes, Part VI: Space: Punisher #1

 

C'mon, Marvel! It's like you ain't even trying anymore

So 2012 appears to be the year that Marvel lost its damn mind. This book is called Space: Punisher, a four issue limited series that must have been someone's What If? story that someone gave growth hormones to. It is exactly what you would expect a Punisher story to be if you took random lines and added the words "in space!" to them.

Okay, it might be a tiny bit more clever than that, but not by much really. It starts with Frank Castle flying his space ship though space. Yes, it is THE Frank Castle. This is one of those alternate dimension things or mirror universes or whatevers, which Marvel has ground Punisher though. We've had future Punisher, cowboy Punisher, undead Punisher, etc. At least this one occurred way back in 2012 and hasn't been seen from since. I haven't really checked however and knowing Marvel's current marketing strategy of "make whatever sells mainstream," it might actually BE the current Marvel Comic Universe's Punisher.

Let's just get in, get out and be DONE.

We begin with Space Punisher having tracked one of the Intergalactic Mafia to the surface of a nearby planet. And yes, those are the exact terms used in the book. So he flies down to the surface in a very "Adam Strange" kind of way that kicks the book off with an epic space opera vibe. We have Mark Texeira doing the art chores, and I begrudgingly admit to more than a truckload full of love for his retro-painted take on things. It is a bit like The Punisher and a 50's sci-fi mag's pulp cover had a lovechild.

Anyhoo, Frank hacks up the local "flora" or "fauna" or whatever with his sci-fi laser sword only to discover the entire planet' surface is symbiote covered Brood. He is instantly surrounded.

Luckily, Frankie came prepared. Another Frank, Frank Tieri to be exact, is filling the word balloons and making this one up as he goes along, and gosh darn it if by the end of the next two pages if I'm not buying into this whole concept.

Sonics for the symbiotes and bullets for the Brood. So crazy and so outlandish that something like this is going to work, especially given how the Brood were completely surrounding Castle just  bit ago. Just impossible!

And I'm right. So Frank calls down "Chip", and I'm foolishly expecting his overweight buddy Microchip from the original Punisher series to send down some help…

But what I get is this: Chip the silver-plated robotic android ass-kicker whose hands turn into dual mini-guns. 

I admit at this point I gave up. I just did. I put down my air of smug superiority and jaded cynicism….and I just went with it. Yes, it is an INSANE concept. And yes, it could seem to spit in the face of all those deadly serious Punisher tales from the late 80's. Sure, it's not the way I want people to remember the character…not as some parody of the action icon. BUT it is a lot of fun, and enjoyment is the name of the game here.

So as Castle starts swinging his lightsaber like a regular Luke-Skywalker-Jedi-wannabe, Chip gets the intel on who might know their next series of targets. And as they beam back to their ship, they leave the brood a little present in the form of a bomb that destroys the nest and perhaps the entire planet.

 

(and yes, I noticed that he named his ship "Maria", Frank's wife's name in the original series)

Then they travel to a space bar to extract the info from the man mentioned in the download. Here they are walking in all bad-ass and stuff.

Guy's name is Barracuda and Frank doesn't think much of manhandling him. So Barracuda's "Rhino-like" stand in protests Frank's touching of his boss in a rough manner…

…and Frank's ship fries Rhino-horn in is boots. Or rather everything BUT his boots.

Yeah this is just fun and silly, which counterpoints how deadly serious the Punisher books were when it came to his mission of vengeance. This is just mayhem for mayhem's sake. I'm completely impressed with the execution.

And a little more impressed when I see who Frank will be going up against in the remaining four issues.

So we took down the Brood Queen, who is queued up next? Space Dr. Octopus! Space Green Goblin! Space Magneto! Space Red Skull (with mutant Nazi Hitlers!) and finally Space Ultron! Not to mention that the next issue featured Space Punisher vs Space Hulk on the cover. AND the fact that the last panel has Space Punisher ambushed by Space Sabretooth, Space Deadpool and Space The Leader...er, The Space Leader?, naw that can't be right...The Leader Space? Heck if I know. The Leader IN SPACE! There, that's good enough.

I have to say that I'm going to comb the bins to find these, because this one was kind of a hoot. It had a 70's DC space tale vibe combined with a 90's Marvel body count. And there is nothing wrong with that.

Horror-ible, Part XVII; Ch-ch-ch-changes, Part V; and Guide To Werewolves Part "Are we really doing this?": Captain America #405

Halloween POST-A-DAY, October 13, 2016

CAPWOLF!

Marvel has always been known as "The House of Ideas" but notice how there's no "good" or "bad" conditional statement before the word "Ideas." Well, here is the proof that there should be.

Capwolf.

Someone over that late Summer of 1992 said "let's turn Cap into a werewolf." Now as I've said before, this was during a period where the title was going bi-monthly and that has to put a lot of pressure on your writing staff for new, untried ideas. Additionally any changes made during this time that were reversed would have seemed short-lived. It is easy for an audience to go "dumb story" and move on, given that in two short weeks they would have the start of a new arc beginning. So if ever there was a time to get this out of their system, this was it. And no one would really remember it even happening with the flood of new issues coming after it.

But history?

History always remembers. As does the Crapbox. And neither of them will let me forget.

For those of you joining us with our story in progress, we are up to issue four of a six issue arc. The Crapbox only yielded the issues 3-5 to me, but they are the core of all this silliness. Last issue Cap was knocked out by a mind-controlled Wolverine and taken to the lab of the mad scientist Dr. Nightshade, a young woman who just loves her some werewolves. Nightshade is working for Dredmund, some kind of evil magical weirdo who ALSO likes werewolves for some reason. Also in his employ is Moonhunter, a jerky dick who leaves people turning back to human from werewolf form in the middle of a city street with no clothes.

Why is all this going on? We are unsure at this point. Something, something…take over the world, I think.

OH! And Dr Druid is there too. At least I think he is. The guy is about as handy as a Swiss Army Knife that's been superglued shut.

But where we start is Dr. Nightshade's lab. Hold on to your seats, kids.

Like a bad cliffhanger in an old Republic serial, we begin were last issue ended, with Nightshade injecting Cap with her werewolf juice and using the admonishment "Get ready to howl!"

What exactly is Dr. Nightshade's deal, I wonder? Is she some kind of sick furry that wants everybody to share her penchant for pelts? I mean it's okay to BE a furry, but forcing everyone to become werewolves is taking things too far. That's like forcing everyone to be straight or gay. Let well enough alone lady!

Or maybe she's just a really overzealous dog lover? I don’t know, but I'm beginning to wish I had those two starting issues so I might have a better clue what the heck is up with her. Whatever it is, she certainly knows how to distill a good lycanthropy serum because…

She turns Captain America into a werewolf.

It won't go as easy on them with Cap as it has with the other werewolves. He's still part super-solider. Before Dredmund can wolf-mind-control him…

 …he breaks free.

Note the red boxed thought balloons. Those are CapWolf's and they make this whole book a joy to read because every moment you can hear how mentally challenged he is as the werewolf Captain. Like this next part where he remembers to take his shield.

Or this part where he goes outside.

I'd joke about these but…I can't. It's like talking bad about your neighbor's poorly housebroken German Shepard. You expect Cap to chew up the bad guy's shoes and throw up all over his new rug.

Cap is getting away now and Dredmund can't have that, so he forces a random group of passers-by to transform into werewolves and hunt him. Note this the first look at his face that we've been given. Anyone recognize him? No? Me neither. He's just some random jerkwad with werewolf controlling powers.

Meanwhile Dr. Druid is wandering around the bad-guy's house wondering if Cap thinks he's abandoned him. Which he totally did by the way. Wolverine attacked them both and Druid-baby left. Cause that's his super power: being a big wussy.

He also discovers Dredmund's secret stash of Druid stuff…and his pipe…and his dime bag of good weed.

So it isn't any wonder that Dredmund sneaks upon him and puts on his evil hat. Then the battle of Druidic wills that we've been waiting for all these issues takes place. 

 

(Actually have to give a point to Doc Druid here, that was a third degree burn there)

Cap is hounded (ha!) by the werewolves, still mentally slow and beginning to more and more resemble Rocket Racoon. I know Ric Levins is doing what he can here, but there are seriously some issues with the costume staying intact on a werewolf body and not looking completely and totally goofy in most panels.

Captain America has always been about hitting with both his fists AND his ideals, and it is during panels like these that you can't help but chuckle a bit at his inability to articulate his thoughts.

It's about this time that our special guest from last issue shows up to again, that guest being mind-controlled Wolverine. 

Cap may not be able to remember Logan's handle, but he does recall enough to know how to handle him.

Or at least he does for a bit. Then he gets cut. And it all goes to the dogs from there.

CapWolf literally screws Wolverine up, and then uses his limp body to take out about six other werewolves. I hate to admit this but aside from how flipping crazy those panels are, I'm smiling at seeing Logan brushed off so easily.

With all this fisticuffs going on outside, it is time we check back in with Dr. Druid's battle with Dredmund. 

So they are just standing there? That's it? Sweet jeebus, what boring ass powers are at work here? At least Dr. Strange gets to shoot mystic bolts and make magical shields. These two are battling with all the intensity of two kids having a staring contest.

Imagine, if you will a Dr. Druid ongoing. Every issue he meets a new foe he has to defeat. The battle starts and the penciler draws one panel of the two of them "fighting", he then takes that panel to the Xerox machine and copies/pastes it on each page for the remainder of the issue.

It looks like the two of them will be a while, so let's move on shall we. Off to Moonhunter, who decides it is a good idea to lasso CapWolf…

…and promptly realizes how wrong he is. I do love this reaction though:

"I've used terrible judgment, but I'm a tough supervillain, so I'll just let him DRAG ME until he gets tired." I don't know what to say. I hope Moonhunter gets the worst case of rugburns ever recorded for thinking such a stupid thought.

Deciding things were too interesting, the writer switches back to Dr. Druid who makes a stupid mistake and gets knocked out by Dredmund. Our villain has something in mind for Doc D. And to finish off the issue, Cap makes it back to the Dredmund's headquarters (dragging Moonhunter, I might add) and appears to fall under Dr. Nightshade's sway.

And as silly as this issue was and is, you ain't seen nothing yet….

Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes, Part V, Manhunter #0

If a hero you've never heard of changes, does it make a difference?

Maybe I underestimate my audience.

This is one horrible change that I don't think anyone will remember. Manhunter was never a top tier character. 

I think the Manhunter that most folks would know is Kate Spenser, a lawyer who decides to take justice in her own hands by cobbling together an outfit made from a grabbag of heroes leftover gadgets. She goes after those who have escaped the court system on technicalities. While her 2004 unlimited series was canceled back in 2006, it pulled in enough fan support to get a second chance in 2007 but still shuttered in 2008, a mere 38 issues in.

She comes after this version, however.

Before this 1994 Zero Hour tie-in series began, Manhunter was associated with one of two versions that were pretty much the same. 

The more popular Archie Goodwin and Walt Simonson's update of the golden age crimefighter who used weapons to take down bad guys. This was Paul Kirk, a resurrected lawman who worked for a secret organization. He used a pistol, throwing stars and a katar to fight crime, encountering Gotham's Batman in a few tales. He bounced around a bit in the early to mid-70's and then dropped off the radar.

 

The character reemerged in 1988 prior to DC's Millennium event. In the most confusing of setups, Manhunters are the name of the Guardians of OA's first attempt at policing the galaxy. They were androids who appeared human. Soon they turned evil and the Guardians drove them into hiding, replacing them with the Green Lantern Corps. It was these evil robot/androids who drafted a young man by the name of Mark Shaw to help them sway Earth's heroic population to their side of the battle. Mark eventually turned on his masters and adopted a different identity.

Both of the above were non-powered humans and both carried the mantle of Manhunter. Then the 90's happened and DC was in a tizzy.

Image comics was likely the big driver here. Since it burst on to the scene in 1992, it created a huge buzz in the customer base and it drained talent from both of the big two. By 1994, DC had a sales strategy that it hoped would win it back customers. Along with mucking up the big names, DC started revamping the minor characters. Remember that it was at this time Dr. Fate dropped his doctorate and became "magic Cable."

As for the non-powered, crimefighter Manhunter? He became Spawn.

Spawn's whole premise is that the character dies and then, through a deal with a demon, is bought back to life with very loosely defined power set and a mission that requires him to send evil souls to hell. The demon is the one who names him Spawn.

You're about to see how DC gets away with ripping this off completely. Let's start with a typical Spawn setup. A record-producer guy is found dead with his chest ripped open in a car crash that takes place in a bad neighborhood. Ruthless street toughs are looting his car when they come across something that peaks their interest.

 

That's right! A hot shoe means a hot chick. And she is beating feet away from the scene. While the mean looking guys chase her, yelling for her to stop, she trips. That's when this demonic looking guy jumps the gentlemen tailing her.

If any of that has a familiar look, it's because the artist is none other than Vincent Giarrano, who would one day write/pencil that crapbox favorite  undead ninja vs demon tale called Redblade. His current paintings are still going gangbusters and he recently won an award for his piece "Tribeca" from The Butler Institute of American Art.

He shows off all his strengths here. Same sense of visual storytelling style, same presence in his figures and pacing. In all, it is a good marriage for this material. The words and story to our pictures are provided courtesy of Steven Grant, a guy I know from First Comic's Psychoblast and the Lobo limited series that pop up once in a while in the Crapbox. Grant is better known for writing the first Punisher mini, Whisper, a handful of Defenders and helping co-write Marvel's Contest of Champions. Grant also penned work outside of comics including several Hardy Boys and Tom Swift books under pseudonyms. 

Getting back to the work at hand, Manhunter beats up a few of the tough guys and then sees to the young lady. He knows her name is Brenna. She witnessed the producer getting his heart ripped out and it has completely unsettled her. Apparently, Manhunter knows the young lady personally. She was a singer that the dead guy represented.

 

Everybody, meet Chase Lawler. Although you don't know it now, Chase is a musician friend of Brenna, who through mysterious circumstances now has a rather ill-defined set of superpowers. More on that in a bit.

 

Right now though, they've got trouble coming. Trouble in the form of this guy on this huge two page spread. Meet the Wild Huntsman, a demon-like creature who preys on the souls of the lonely and abandoned. It appears he knows Chase too.

The street toughs turn out to be sympathic characters, and who wouldn't be humanized once the book turns up the heat by sprinkling in demon dogs and monstrous men? First they rush off to an abandoned apartment building leaving chase to face down this new foe alone.

So Chase/Manhunter digs in to protect Brenna from the hellhounds and their Huntsman master.

A few things leak out of this. Like the fact that Chase knows the Wild Huntsman and what he does. Like the fact that the Huntsman lets it drop that something called him here to collect a lonely soul. Something that as the book goes on, it becomes more and more likely that it was Chase doing the calling. 

Meanwhile the conscience of the gang members gets the better of them and they rush out to defend Brenna from the dogs, one of them getting injured in the process. They succeed in dragging her to safety, however. 

I kind of like that they are presented with more than a thimble-full of humanity. In lessor books this would be a pretty cut and dried storyline, yet here Grant creates some tension and draws out some character instead of leaving them as stereotypes.

 

Chase has a scene with the Huntsman where he gives him his name, stating that he is his little Manhunter. The longer the story goes the more beats this has in common with McFarland's creation over at Image.

Manhunter uses his knowledge that the Huntsman has no power over groups of individuals and rushes over to the gang for protection. The Huntsman glowers at the entrance, feeding off the gangmembers fear until they begin to bicker over letting Manhunter stay inside. The Huntsman says he will let everyone go if they give up Manhunter. Manhunter explains it is a bluff and that the Huntsman can't attack them even if he wanted to. A brief argument occurs followed by a very unfortunate accident.

Which the Huntsman can use to his advantage.

 

Without warning, Lewis is swept from the building by a mystical wind, sucked right out. It appears that being a murderer singles you out for special attention by the Huntsman and new rules apply to how he can treat you.

 

Well, this book is going to the dogs quickly. 

Lewis is turned into a hellhound, part of the Wild Hunt. Surely there were some dogs at the pound the Huntsman could have adopted instead? I guess it is more menacing than say a twelve year old lab or a heard of dachshunds. Still, seems a bit harsh.

In a bit of altruism, Manhunter decides to take on the Wild Huntsman and the guy that is dying of stab wounds takes off to lead the pack away. This ends with the poor guy calling all his neighbors to take to the streets and chase the Huntsman away. After which he is forced to eat a bullet when they don't show up in time. Manhunter tries his best to contain the Huntsman, but it is too little to stop him.

It's neat that a side character gets to carry so much of the story. It is unexpected and a good twist on the heroic tale. There is menace added to the Huntsman as well as a feeling that his power is that of a natural force. Manhunter is still shown as courageous, but unable to completely defend against the Huntsman's onslaught. I love where this story is going. Pity the run will end very quickly.

So the neighbors do show up, many toting weapons and the Huntsman is forced to retreat. We leave the issue with a bunch of unresolved questions and a slight hankering to see where this goes. If you did want to find out, you'd have to make it quick, as Manhunter's run in this incarnation lasted a year. Most of it was explained away as delusion by the time the series ended at issue 12.

Which is kind of sad. Yes, they are riffing off Spawn. However Grant has the chops to make a good story and Giarrano knows how to make a fun ride in this genre of superheroing. Obviously the experiment failed to make sales targets though.

Which is kind of sad, if you ask me.