Unexpectedly
satisfying
"Untitled”
Writer – Mark Andreyko
Illustrator – Patrick
Berkenkotter
Colorist – Thiago
Ribeiro
Letterer – Troy Peteri
Editor – Joe Rybandt
2012
There
are many things in this world I don’t completely understand.
How
they get those ship models built inside those bottles, for one thing. Why they
do it, for another.
But
the most inexplicable thing I’ve found out through all my Crapbox blogging is
the popularity of certain fandoms. M.A.S.K. for one. ROM for another.
And
Dark Shadows.
Last
year I posted my review of Dark Shadows #1 from Innovation on a Monday in
October. By the end of the week that post had close to 200 views. By the end of
the month, it was a few posts away from a Keith Giffen Superman book for most
views. Even now it sits there closing in on six hundred views almost a year
later.
And
it’s not even that well written a piece. I think I even bailed out before the
issue was over because I found the book a little on the …slow side.
People
certainly must love that old gothic soap opera, is all I’m saying. I tried a
few last year and it did nothing for me. Lots of atmosphere, but it was
definitely a slow burn to getting to ANY resolution. I found it dull.
I
did pick up the Johnny Depp/Tim Burton disasterpiece on blu-ray when I was at
Walmart though. I figured at $5, I could pair it up with a nice box of red wine
and make a go of an enjoyable evening. One way or another. I’ll report back
findings on that later.
For
now, however, I have the PLEASURE of presenting a Dark Shadows book that I
would look forward to seeing more of: 2012’s pairing of the scantily clad,
sometimes space alien vampire-sometimes devil spawned vampire, vampire hunter
Vampirella with the always regretful and hungry Barnabas Collins. It seems like
a match made for about 20 seconds, as Vampirella is apt to stake first and ask
questions later.
The
neat thing about this issue is that it knows the wise use of a cliffhanger and
it presents a plot that gives the reader clear expectations of the conflicts it
sets up. And that looks to be a team-up of necessity as …well, I’m going to
stop here as I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s dive in, instead, shall we?
We
begin in (get this) 1410 Slovakia, where two guards arrive at the cell door of
an accused murderess to find…
…Ahhh!
Streams of blood. That can’t be a good sign.
And
indeed, it isn’t. The woman in question has had all the blood drained from her
body mysteriously. Our two hapless guards are then ordered to deliver her
bloodless corpse back to her family, three days ride from the castle. With a
minimum of bitching, they undertake this fatal journey.
I
did say “fatal” didn’t I? Because the woman is a vampire now and of course, she
wakes on the road back feeling puckish. When having a bit “on the hoof,” so to
speak causes the wagon to careen off the cliff, our newly minted vampiress
feels the need to wander.
Skip
ahead a few centuries to 1888’s Whitechapel, London…and if you can’t see where
this will take us, you’ve missed your horror history quiz. Because as all the
prostitutes know, you’ve got to be careful who you pick up these days…er,
um…back in “those days”.
Bloke
could seem alright…
…only
to end up being Gentleman Jack, the infamous Ripper. I may have mixed him up
with an alcoholic beverage. Not too sure. What I am sure is this young lady has
the worst sort of luck. From the frying pan into the fire, so to speak.
She
won’t be the only victim this even, however, as the vampire lady from our prelude
decides Jack the Ripper would make an excellent henchman. Looks like she
Renfields him all up, too.
Skip
ahead to modern-day New York City and we find our serial killer very much alive
and well and murdering …
…well,
waitresses is what she appears to be. Must be a fear of catching something from
the prostitutes of our day and age. Either that or “the Mistress” wants the
young lady for something more than just a lite snack. Only time will tell.
And
in Collinsport, Maine, Quentin Collins picks up the newspaper to read about the
abduction. Quentin is Barnabas’ descendant and the inheritor of the Collinwood
Estate. He’s also a werewolf.
The
picture of the woman in the paper is recognizable by both men instantly. She is
the great, great,…(etc)…great granddaughter of a woman that Barnabas snacked on
after he was first turned. See:
Because
of that action, Barnabas swore to protect those individuals he wrongly murdered
before he had full control of himself AND THEIR HEIRS for as long as he was/is
(ahem, sort of) alive.
Meanwhile
Detective Fredricks and “V” are trading information on recent killings.
…but
“V” is getting some hints from the file that this isn’t just any old vampire
murders.
She’s
right, of course. And given that time is of the essence, she drops her disguise
and sets out to find the killer.
A
path that will take on a collision course with these two. (love the “bad dog”
reference here. Ha!)
Because the first stop for both these hunters of vampires
will be is Felicia’s apartment, a place Barnabas can only enter due to a very
conveniently placed welcome mat. (Note to self, never buy a mat that says
welcome as they are a “security risk vs vampire entry”.)
And
as Collins is snooping around, of course he encounters our second billed guest…
Vampirella!
*ding* Let the fight begin!
What
an enjoyable issue. The drabness of the tv show is dispensed with and it
appears all it really needed were some clever jokes for it to feel relevant and
“fun” again. At least as much fun as you can have when you are dealing with
multiple murders, a serial killer, three vampires, a werewolf and three time
periods and four major locations.
It
worked for me. All of it. The slow build of the plot elements, the interplay
among the characters, even the predictable cliffhanger ending. All of it worked
for me. And I’m eager for more. Looks like I’ll be surfing the bins for more of
these. I hope there is quite a few to find.
