Some
random Spider-Man books, Part 9
My childhood feels for this are thrown in the garbage
Repeatedly...by Iceman, of all people
"The Triumph of the
Green Goblin!”
Writer – Tom Defalco,
from a screenplay by Dennis Marks
Pencils – Dan Spiegle
Inks – Vincent Colletta
Letters – Jim Novak
Colorist – Bob Sharen
Reprint Editor – Gregory
Wright
January 1989
Marvel
Action Universe was a one-shot in the late 80’s that reprinted Spider-Man and
his Amazing Friends #1 from 1981.
The
original book spun out of the popularity of Marvel’s Saturday morning cartoon
of the same name, a weakly linked affair that replaced several characters in
Spider-Man’s comic universe with super-powered replacements, removed all of the
girlfriend drama and basically de-fanged or de-clawed everything good about his
mythos.
The
leftover bits consisted of a Parker residing in the fictional town of Shady
Glen while attending college, a smart mouthed version of Iceman, a new addition
fire-based heroine named Firestar and Aunt May’s pooch companion named Ms.
Lion. The group had a secret “Spider” lab they could access by flipping a
button with Aunt May gone that consisted of various parts of the living room
flipping around to reveal computers and monitors. Firestar was a stand in for
Human Torch, who was possibly under license to another animation house.
The
stories were dumbed down and the action silly in comparison to the 1969 series
the preceded it and the 1994 Spider-Man cartoon that came after. Both series of
those other series hewed closer to the comics version of the character and didn’t
shy away from including content that might be a bit challenging to over-protective
parents. (such as Spider-Man getting shot at by police).
For
the inside skinny on things you might not know about the Spider-Man and his
Amazing friends, I’m going to direct you to a fact-filled youtube put out byComicsAlliance.
This
book came about as the TV show rolled into syndication, but it is just a reprint
and the dollar bins are full of them if you look. I wouldn’t recommend it for
an adult reader though, but it fits into the youth category easily enough.
So
what do we have under this flashy splash page?
I’ve
always heard such bad things said about Vince Colletta’s inking, but here is a
book that even his marks-a-lot inking style appears to have no effect on. Many
of the panels are simplistic with these beginning few being the most complex
out of the entire issue. Norman Osborn, a/k/a The Green Goblin, is being flown
in a prop plane home from his stay at the sanitarium. Why not a car? Why
indeed. We get a quick recounting of his TV version Origin here and then the
plane gets struck by lightning.
Forced
to parachute out, a much chunkier version of Norman takes a bump on the head
and suddenly he’s all evil again. And he should go on Weight Watchers.
Meanwhile
at Aunt May’s house…first some stupid stuff with the dog…
…which
I find much more annoying than I used to when I watched this show as a kid. Then
we move on to Angelica Jones (Firestar) and NORMA Osborn getting dressed for a
costume party. Yes, they changed Harry Osborn into a girl, named him NORMA, and
made her Norman’s neice just so they could have a woman in peril in this thing.
Even the cute part about Angelica dressing up as Spider-Woman as a private joke
on Peter doesn’t make up for the amount of rage I had to swallow.
Moving
on, Bobby Drake (Iceman) dresses as Captain America and Peter dresses in a
flea-market version of his own Spider suit. They head to the party which is
filled with bad versions of Marvel 616 heroes. Had Dan Spiegle been a bit slyer
he might have snuck in a DC character or two, but no. Note how “coloring book”
all the panels are. Not sure if this is Spiegle or Colletta’s doing, but it
fits the fluff that passes for story here.
Spidey
gets freaked by a couple of Goblin cosplayers who are hanging suspended from
wires when all of a sudden his actual spider-sense goes off.
Peter
getting freaked begs the question of whether or not this universe had a Gwen
Stacy and if so, did the Goblin kill her? I am expecting no as the answer to
both of those, otherwise Osborn wouldn’t see the light of day even if cured, I would hope.
Spider-Man
rushes to the Osborn building, because in this universe his spider-sense acts
like a divining rod that takes him to where trouble is brewing. Hey, I ain’t
writing this, folks! Don’t blame me.
Then
he is shot at by the Goblin with some kind of ray gun which the Goblin never actually
brandishes nor do we see. He dodges against a backdrop so lacking in detail that it is
easy to mistake it for Spider-Man bumping into Ben Riley and Miles Morales for
a single panel. Then he is tagged by a shot and has to listen as the Goblin explains
his plans so that Spider-man knows exactly how to foil them later.
Okay,
I knew not to expect much going into this, but I have to say that I expected
more than this. It is just silly. The horrid part is that I LOVED that stupid
show growing up. My generation had the ’69 Spider-Man as a model of good
Spider-Man animation. SMahAF blew that one away in terms of look. Yet I had
forgotten all the mythos cut out of the show and the juvenile nature that was
the hallmark of this version of Spider-Man.
Like
the fact that Goblin’s plan is to use his formula to make everyone look like
himself. EVEN THOUGH THE GOBLIN SERUM DOESN’T DO THAT! HE’S WEARING A FLIPPING
MASK!
Okay,
let’s just get through the rest of this, shall we. Angelica senses Spider-Man’s
in trouble using her…woman’s intuition maybe? Let’s go with that. And she
convinces Bobby to leave the party too. The Goblin doesn’t find his formula and
realizes his niece might have it, so he goes to look for her, but not before
setting up an overly elaborate and easily escapable trap to kill or injure
Spider-Man.
Which
doesn’t work because Spider-Man says “Firestar, look out,” clearly enough
information to cause her to flame on and burn through something-something and
he’s fine.
He’s all fine and that wouldn’t cause the explosion to be less on
his side or anything and screw physics and Spider-man’s fine and let’s get this
over with…(so annoyed)
Oh
wait, they must plug the pumpkin bomb up with webbing and melt the ice and THEN
they can leave. People may be exposed to Goblin serum, but we must be all tidy
first.
Norma
gets stolen from right beside Bobby and he is so dumb he just lets the Goblin
get away with her. Who lobotomized Iceman, that’s what I want to know.
And
not only does he let him fly off with her, he doesn’t even think to turn into
Iceman and follow them. So by the time Spidey and Firestar arrive, they have to
do this “search for Norma” thing. It appears all he can do is think of cruel
things to say to Spider-Man. I never realized that Iceman was such an A-hole in
these.
Meanwhile
the Goblin’s got his formula together and is attempting to make Norma take a
drink. Spider-Man crashes in at just that moment.
Spidey
destroys the beaker, causing Goblin to flee. However he has enough produced to
seed the nearby water reservoir. Peter frees Norma and then hitches a ride.
The
Goblin does his best to shake Spider-Man off, which is pretty successful. Just
as he’s falling to his doom, his “amazing friends” show up…
…and
Iceman does this, which is like something he does in the first show. Now I’m
pretty old so I can’t remember how many times Iceman would throw Spider-Man
into garbage cans, but this is a total dick move on Iceman’s part. He could
deposit Spidey anywhere. Spidey should extra a little payback for this.
This
bit of tom-foolery delays the heroes in catching Goblin until AFTER he’s dumped
his toxic goblin serum into the water reservoir which means that after
capturing the fleeing super-villain…
…by
throwing him into some power lines (that’s kinda deadly), they must freeze the
water in the lake completely.
But
all’s well in the end because they use Firestar’s power to carve the goblin
serum part out of the lake before melting it back and Norman survived that
horrific explosion. Somehow.
Oh,
and the dog loves Peter. That was the important part of all of this.
This
issue proves you can’t ever go home again and that nostalgia should be left
alone. I didn’t remember the villains being this lame nor Iceman being such a
constant jerkwad. The series hasn’t aged well, in contrast to the other
Spider-toons made before and after. It’s probably best if we put this one back
in the Crapbox and never bring it out again.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.